Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes

"WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO? YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT U-NO-POO THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!"

- Sign outside Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes

Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes is a joke shop in Diagon Alley owned by Fred and George Weasley. It sells practical joke objects, such as Extendable Ears, a Reusable Hangman, and Fred and George's special WonderWitch products, such as love potions and ten-second pimple remover. There is also a section of Muggle magic tricks "for freaks like Dad." They're not big sellers, but they do fairly well.

The Weasleys got the money for the shop from a combination of Harry Potter's donated Triwizard Tournament winnings and their own money, earned from previous sales made at Hogwarts. Because Harry gave them their start-up loan, Fred and George allow him to help himself to whatever he wants, free of charge.

Argus Filch banned all of Fred and George's products from Hogwarts in 1996. However, as no one pays much attention to things Filch bans, this had little effect. They opened a branch in Diagon Alley shortly after leaving Hogwarts in April 1996. At the back of the shop, there is a room with prototypes of any new product that is being developed. The twins employed a shop assistant named Verity.

It is assumed that following Voldermort's takeover of the Ministry of Magic, the shop was attacked by Death Eaters, along with other places connected to the Order of the Phoenix and Harry. Fred and George kept an owl package delivery system when the Weasleys went into hiding, to the annoyance of their Auntie Muriel, whose house they were hiding in.

After Fred died in the Battle of Hogwarts, Ron Weasley came to work at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes until moving on to be an Auror.

According to J.K. Rowling, it became a real money spinner in the years after Voldemort's death. It is possible they branched into Hogsmeade when Zonko's closed.

Known Joke Products

 * Skiving Snackbox - A Skiving Snackbox is a range of sweets to make the user ill. The user develops strange symptoms depending on the type of snack eaten. The purpose of these was to make a student appear unable to stay in class. Most came in two colour-coded[[Image:Skiving_Snackbox_Weasley_and_Weasley.jpg|thumb|258px|[[Skiving Snackboxes]], a Weasley product]] parts: one that would cause the malady, and one that would heal the pupil once they had left class. They include: Fainting Fancies, Fever Fudge, Nosebleed Nougat, Puking Pastilles
 * Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-bangs - Unstoppable fireworks that violently explode when hit by a stunning spell, multiply at any attempt to vanish them, they include a shocking-pink wheel, fire-breathing dragons,[[Image:Fireworks.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-bangs]]]] sparklers that spell out profanity, rockets with long tails of silver stars, and firecrackers. When any two types collide, they make new kinds. Include Basic Blaze Box and Deflagration Deluxe. Background History: In Fred and George's final year, they used these fireworks as a protest against the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and new Headmistress, Professor Umbridge.
 * Canary Creams, temporarily transfigures the user into a canary
 * Ton-Tongue Toffee (tested by the Weasley twins on Dudley Dursley). When eaten, they cause the tongue to rapidly swell and turn purple.
 * Edible Dark Marks - "They'll make anyone sick!"
 * Extendable Ears, used to hear voices at the other [[Image:Extendable_Ears.jpg|thumb|250px|Extendable Ears]]end of the ear.
 * Headless Hats, make the wearer's head invisible (along with the hat itself).
 * Muggle magic tricks
 * Portable Swamp, creates a swamp when used.
 * Quills (in Self-Inking, Spell-Checking and Smart-Answer varieties)
 * Punching Telescopes which, when squeezed, give the user a black eye which is almost impossible to remove (Hermione Granger is a victim of one in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince).
 * Reusable Hangman - "Spell It Or He'll Swing".
 * Trick wands that turn into a variety of unexpected things when waved.
 * U-No-Poo, a caustive product with a name meant to parody "You-Know-Who".
 * Daydream Charm Puts the spell caster into a highly-realistic 30-minute daydream.

Defence Objects

 * Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder When thrown into the air, this powder covers everything around it in darkness, which can not be penetrated by spells like Lumos or Incendio. The Hand of Glory can be used to see through it. It is used by Draco Malfoy against the members of the DA while smuggling Death Eaters into Hogwarts.
 * Shield Hats, Cloaks and Gloves used by the Ministry of Magic for defence against enemy forces, using a Shield Charm.
 * Decoy Detonators, when dropped they run away and explode out of sight, giving the person a diversion if necessary.

Wonderwitch Products

 * Guaranteed Ten-Second Pimple Vanisher, excellent on everything from boils to blackheads.
 * Patented Daydream Charms, virtually undetectable highly realistic 30-minute daydreams. (side-effects can be: slight drooling and a dazed expression).
 * Pygmy Puffs, miniature puffskeins.
 * Love Potions, that when drunk, will give the drinker an obsession with the one who bought the drink (love being impossible to manufacture). They work for up to 24 hours at a time, depending on the weight of the boy and attractiveness of the girl. Like all love potions the effects can increase the longer they're kept.

Employees

 * Fred Weasley founder
 * George Weasley founder
 * Ron Weasley
 * Verity

Uniform

 * Employees at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes all wear a magenta staff robe