Raised By Wolfstar: Slytherin Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix

After the night Harry had just experienced he had been hoping the following Monday morning would be calm and uneventful. This all changed when the morning owls arrived with the Daily Prophet. Collective gasps and murmuring filled the Great Hall and it did not take Harry and his gang long to see why.

Allison flattened out the newspaper to reveal a large photograph of Dolores Umbridge, smiling widely and blinking slowly at them from beneath the headline:

“MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM: DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED FIRST-EVER HIGH INQUISITOR”

‘“High Inquisitor”?’ said Harry darkly, his half-eaten bit of toast slipping from his fingers. ‘What does that mean?’

Allison read aloud:

“In a surprise move last night the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

‘The Minister has been growing uneasy about goings-on at Hogwarts for some time,’ said Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley. ‘He is now responding to concerns voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction they do not approve.’

This is not the first time in recent weeks Fudge has used new laws to effect improvements at the Wizarding school. As recently as August 30th Educational Decree Twenty-two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current headmaster being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the Ministry should select an appropriate person.

‘That’s how Dolores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts,’ said Weasley last night. ‘Dumbledore couldn’t find anyone, so the Minister put in Umbridge and of course, she’s been an immediate success—’”

‘She’s been a WHAT?’ said Harry loudly.

‘Harry, it’s not finished,’ said Allison grimly.

“‘—an immediate success, totally revolutionizing the teaching of Defense Against the Dark Arts and providing the Minister with on-the- ground feedback about what’s really happening at Hogwarts.’

It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalized with the passing of Educational Decree Twenty-three, which creates the new position of ‘Hogwarts High Inquisitor.’

‘This is an exciting new phase in the Minister’s plan to get to grips with what some are calling the “falling standards” at Hogwarts,’ said Weasley. ‘The Inquisitor will have powers to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbridge has been offered this position in addition to her own teaching post, and we are delighted to say that she has accepted.’

The Ministry’s new moves have received enthusiastic support from parents of students at Hogwarts.

‘I feel much easier in my mind now that I know that Dumbledore is being subjected to fair and objective evaluation,’ said Mr Lucius Malfoy, 41, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night. ‘Many of us with our children’s best interests at heart have been concerned about some of Dumbledore’s eccentric decisions in the last few years and will be glad to know that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the situation.’

Among those ‘eccentric decisions’ are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the hiring of ferocious werewolf Remus Lupin, half giant Rubeus Hagrid, and delusional ex-Auror ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody.

Rumors abound, of course, that Albus Dumbledore, once Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Hogwarts.

‘I think the appointment of the Inquisitor is a first step toward ensuring that Hogwarts has a headmaster in whom we can all repose confidence,’ said a Ministry insider last night.

Wizengamot elders Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of Inquisitor to Hogwarts.

‘Hogwarts is a school, not an outpost of Cornelius Fudge’s office,’ said Madam Marchbanks. ‘This is a further disgusting attempt to discredit Albus Dumbledore.’ (For a full account of Madam Marchbanks’ alleged links to subversive goblin groups, turn to page 17).”

Allison finished reading and looked across the table at the group.

'So that's how such a horrible teacher like Umbridge ended up a teacher,' said Tracey in a huff, 'and now Fudge has made it worse with this decree. He must have sprung it on the Legislators too because my mom didn’t mention any of this in her most recent letters. It is just absolutely absurd!’

‘I know it is,’ said Harry. He looked down at his right hand, clenched upon the tabletop, and saw the faint white outline of the words Umbridge had forced him to cut into his skin.

But a half smile unfurled on Allison’s face.

‘What?’ said Harry, staring at her.

‘I was just thinking about Snape being the one be judged for once,’ said Allison happily.

‘Oh he won’t like that,’ said Theodore, ‘Umbridge has quite a challenge ahead of her.’

‘We best get going,’ said Tracey, jumping up, ‘I don’t want to be late for Charms.’

Thankful Professor Umbridge was not inspecting their Charms lesson, which was just Flitwick teaching a new spell for them to learn, nor was she in Snape’s dungeon when they arrived for double Potions, where Harry’s moonstone essay was handed back to him with a large, spiky black D scrawled in an upper corner.

‘I have awarded you the grades you would have received if you presented this work in your O.W.L,’ said Snape with a smirk, as he swept among them, passing back their homework. ‘This should give you a realistic idea of what to expect in your examination.’

Snape reached the front of the class and turned to face them.

‘The general standard of this homework was abysmal. Most of you would have failed had this been your examination. I expect to see a great deal more effort for this week’s essay on the various varieties of venom antidotes, or I shall have to start handing out detentions to those dunces who get D’s.’

He smirked as Malfoy sniggered and said in a carrying whisper, ‘Some people got D’s? Ha!’

Harry realized that Theodore was looking sideways to see what grade he had received; he slid his moonstone essay back into his bag as quickly as possible, feeling that he would rather keep that information private.

Determined not to give Snape an excuse to fail him this lesson, Harry read and reread every line of the instructions on the blackboard at least three times before acting on them. His Strengthening Solution was not precisely the clear turquoise shade of Theodore’s but it was at least blue rather than pink, like Neville’s, and he delivered a flask of it to Snape’s desk at the end of the lesson with a feeling of mingled defiance and relief.

‘That was much easier than last weeks, wasn’t it?’ said Theodore, as they climbed the steps out of the dungeon and made their way across the entrance hall toward lunch. ‘And even though it was hard we got all our work done in the end.’

As they sat down though, Theodore seemed to be getting more nervous by the second.

‘Grades aren’t everything though, right, and this’ll just be one grade of dozens of assessments.’

‘Something the matter?’ asked Terence, who just sat down with the group. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost, Theo.’

Tracey gave Terence a quick hug, ‘We just got our first Potions paper back, and Snape marked them using O.W.L. standards.’

‘Oh, I remembered when he did that to us last year. He gave me a P and I was shocked as I had worked so hard on it and he also normally is less harsh on Slytherins. What’d you get that got you so worked up? Is is a D, there is no way you got a T.’

Theodore now looked a little embarrassed, ‘Er, it’s an A actually, but is still the lowest grade I ever got in Potions class.’

‘Hold up,’ said Tracey, ‘I’m actually a bit confused, I’m used to getting percentage grades, what do the different letters actually mean?’

‘Well,’ said Terence, ‘O, E, and A are the passing grades while P, D, and T are the failures.’

‘You need an O, as in Outstanding to get into N.E.W.T. level classes,’ continued Theodore. ‘Although sometimes they’ll except Exceeds Expectations as well.’

Terence picked up where Theodore left off, ‘A stands for Acceptable and it’s the last passing grade, though it won’t get you any N.E.W.T.s. P means Poor, D is even lower and stands for Dreadful, and the worst grade you can get is T for Troll, though I’ve only known one person whose ever gotten that low of a grade.’

Tracey looked down at her lunch with a bit of shame, ‘I guess I failed then, I got a P.’

Terence put his hand on top of hers, ‘Don’t worry to much about it, you have a whole year to learn and improve. I can help to, as I still remember a lot from last year.’

Not wanting Tracey to wallow in her failure, Theodore turned to Allison, ‘What grade did you get on your paper.’

Stone faced and focused on her food, Allison replied, ‘An E.’

Theodore’s jaw dropped, ‘An E? You’re joking, right?’

Still not really caring she answered, ‘No, I got an E.’

‘That’s impossible,’ said Theodore now getting worked up. ‘How could you get an E and not me?’

‘What’s that supposed to mean,’ said Allison, finally turning to face Theodore.

Realizing what it sounded like, Theodore tried to back up what he was saying, ‘What I meant was that I’m the potions expert, I didn’t mean to imply that you’re—‘

‘—just the dumb brute of the group? I’m not just brawn you know.’

She scowled and turned her attention back to her lunch, leaving the group in awkward silence. Harry now was stuck with the knowledge he had gotten the worst grade out of his group. He’d have to do better with the next assignment, he wouldn’t be able to hide that much shame and embarrassment.

Making the smart decision to steer the conversation away from O.W.L.s entirely, Terence said, ‘Have you witnessed any inspections yet?’

‘No, have you?’ asked Harry.

‘Not personally, but on the way to lunch I overheard some seventh year Hufflepuffs talking about their Charms class. Supposedly Umbridge just sat at the back of the classroom, asked a couple students how Flitwick’s classes normally were, and took some notes.’

‘Maybe this won’t be as bad as we thought,’ said Tracey.

‘What classes do you have after lunch?’ Terence asked.

‘Herbology and DADA, a class with the troll herself.’

And before he knew it Harry was back in a classroom with Umbridge.

'Wands away,' she instructed them all smilingly, and those people who had been hopeful enough to take them out sadly returned them to their bags. 'As we finished chapter one last lesson, I would like you all to turn to page nineteen today and commence chapter two, "Common Defensive Theories and Their Derivation." There will be no need to talk.'

Still smiling her wide, self-satisfied smile, she sat down at her desk. The class gave an audible sigh as it turned, as one, to page nineteen. Harry wondered dully whether there were enough chapters in the book to keep them reading through all this year’s lessons and was on the point of checking the contents when he noticed that Hermione Granger had her hand in the air again.

Professor Umbridge had noticed too, and what was more, she seemed to have worked out a strategy for just such an eventuality. Instead of trying to pretend she had not noticed Hermione, she got to her feet and walked around the front row of desks until they were face-to-face, then she bent down and whispered, so that the rest of the class could not hear, Harry was just close enough to where Hermione sat to easedrop, 'What is it this time, Miss Granger?'

'I’ve already read chapter two,' said Hermione.

'Well then, proceed to chapter three.'

'I’ve read that too. I’ve read the whole book.'

Professor Umbridge blinked but recovered her poise almost instantly.

'Well, then, you should be able to tell me what Slinkhard says about counterjinxes in chapter fifteen.'

'He says that counterjinxes are improperly named,' said Hermione promptly. 'He says ‘counterjinx’ is just a name people give their jinxes when they want to make them sound more acceptable.'

Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows, and Harry knew she was impressed against her will.

'But I disagree,' Hermione continued.

Professor Umbridge’s eyebrows rose a little higher and her gaze became distinctly colder.

'You disagree?'

‘Yes, I do,’ said Hermione, who, unlike Umbridge, was not whispering, but speaking in a clear, carrying voice that had by now attracted the rest of the class’s attention, including Theodore’s. ‘Mr Slinkhard doesn’t like jinxes, does he? But I think they can be very useful when they’re used defensively.’

‘Oh, you do, do you?’ said Professor Umbridge, forgetting to whisper and straightening up.

‘I agree with Hermione,’ blurted Theodore. ‘Counterjinxes are very important in combat to keep you safe and—‘

‘Enough!’ said Umbridge, who was beginning to lose her temper. ‘I’m afraid it is Mr Slinkhard’s opinion, and not yours, that matters within this classroom, the two of you.’

‘But—‘ Hermione and Theodore said in unison.

‘That is enough,’ said Professor Umbridge. She walked back to the front of the class and stood before them, all the jauntiness she had shown at the beginning of the lesson gone. ‘Miss Granger, Mr Nott, I am going to take five points from both your Houses.’

There was an outbreak of muttering at this.

‘What for?’ said Harry angrily.

‘Harry, not now!’ Tracey warned him in a whisper.’

‘For disrupting my class with pointless interruptions,’ said Professor Umbridge smoothly. ‘I am here to teach you using a Ministry- approved method that does not include inviting students to give their opinions on matters about which they understand very little. Your previous teachers in this subject may have allowed you more license, but as none of them—with the possible exception of Professor Quirrell, who did at least appear to have restricted himself to age-appropriate subjects—would have passed a Ministry inspection—‘

‘Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher,’ said Harry loudly, ‘there was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head.’

This pronouncement was followed by one of the loudest silences Harry had ever heard. Then—

‘I think another week’s detentions would do you some good, Mr Potter,’ said Umbridge sleekly.

The cut on the back of Harry’s hand had barely healed and by the following morning, it was bleeding again. He did not complain during the evening’s detention; he was determined not to give Umbridge the satisfaction; over and over again he wrote I must not tell lies and not a sound escaped his lips, though the cut deepened with every letter.

The very worst part of this second week’s worth of detentions was Terence’s frustration with him. Just as he arrived at the Slytherin table for breakfast on Tuesday, Terence pulled him aside from the others.

‘I just learned you got another weeks worth of detentions Harry, is this true.’

Grouchy, Harry just huffed and said, ‘Yeah, sorry.’

Terence let out an angry sigh, ‘Last week when I heard you gotten detention it put me in a rough spot, I agreed with what you had done but didn’t want to put you further on the spotlight by you not being at practices, so I postponed the first practice to this past Saturday. I can’t do that again though, and I can’t cover for you either.’

‘Why not?!’ accused Harry, his own anger starting to rise.

‘Because if I lie about your absence to someone like Cassius, he has the manipulative power to have me stripped of my captaincy and kicked off the time, so if someone asks where you are during our next practice I’ll have to tell them you’re in detention.’

Harry rolled his eyes, ‘Fine, do what you have to do.’

He was going to sit down, but Terence wasn’t done.

‘There’s one more thing, at tryouts I stated that to be on the team you must perform well both on and off the field, while you’re first week of detention I dismissed as you only spoke the truth, from what I hear yesterday you completely snapped where you could have held your tongue. I’m going to once again let it slide, but if this keeps up I’m going to have to suspend you from the team or worse, as letting you get away with trouble is only going to fill Cassius and Draco’s heads with ideas.’

‘So you’re threatening my position now? What, so you can finally be Seeker like you always dreamed?’ Harry snapped.

Terence kept a calm composure, ‘No, I’m simply warning you to be more careful. Ok?’

If Harry thought that would be the most frustrating part of his morning he would be wrong, as not long after he entered the Divination classroom he would receive a sour surprise. He was pulling out his dream diary in a seat at the very back of the shadowy Divination room when Theodore elbowed him in the ribs and, looking round, he saw Professor Umbridge emerging through the trapdoor in the floor. The class, which had been talking cheerily, fell silent at once. The abrupt fall in the noise level made Professor Trelawney, who had been wafting about handing out Dream Oracles, look round.

‘Good morning, Professor Trelawney,’ said Professor Umbridge with her wide smile. ‘You received my note, I trust? Giving the time and date of your inspection?’

Professor Trelawney nodded curtly and, looking very disgruntled, turned her back on Professor Umbridge and continued to give out books. Still smiling, Professor Umbridge grasped the back of the nearest armchair and pulled it to the front of the class so that it was a few inches behind Professor Trelawney’s seat. She then sat down, took her clipboard from her flowery bag, and looked up expectantly, waiting for the class to begin.

Professor Trelawney pulled her shawls tight about her with slightly trembling hands and surveyed the class through her hugely magnifying lenses.

‘We shall be continuing our study of prophetic dreams today,’ she said in a brave attempt at her usual mystic tones, though her voice shook slightly. ‘Divide into pairs, please, and interpret each other’s latest nighttime visions with the aid of the Oracle.’

She made as though to sweep back to her seat, saw Professor Umbridge sitting right beside it, and immediately veered left toward Terry and Sue, who were already deep in discussion about Sur’s most recent dream.

Harry opened his copy of The Dream Oracle, watching Umbridge covertly. She was making notes on her clipboard now. After a few minutes she got to her feet and began to pace the room in Trelawney’s wake, listening to her conversations with students and posing questions here and there. Harry bent his head hurriedly over his book.

‘Think of a dream, quick,’ he told Tracey, ‘in case the old toad comes our way.’

Tracey now looked nervous, ‘I’m not good at coming up with ideas on the spot, you say one.’

‘Oh, I dunno...’ said Harry desperately, who could not remember dreaming anything at all over the last few days. ‘Let’s say I dreamed I was...drowning Snape in my cauldron. Yeah, that’ll do...’

Tracey snickered as she opened her Dream Oracle.

‘The formula we’re supposed to use has me adding your age to when you had the dream, and the number of letters in the subject...should the subject be Potions, or drowning?’

‘It doesn’t matter, pick any of them,’ said Harry, chancing a glance behind him. Professor Umbridge was now standing at Professor Trelawney’s shoulder making notes while the Divination teacher questioned Michael Corner about his dream diary.

‘What day did you have this dream?’ Tracey said, immersed in calculations.

‘I dunno, last night, whenever you like,’ Harry told him, trying to listen to what Umbridge was saying to Professor Trelawney. They were only a table away from him and Tracey now. Professor Umbridge was making another note on her clipboard and Professor Trelawney was looking extremely put out.

‘Now,’ said Umbridge, looking up at Trelawney, ‘you’ve been in this post how long, exactly?’

Professor Trelawney scowled at her, arms crossed and shoulders hunched as though wishing to protect herself as much as possible from the indignity of the inspection. After a slight pause in which she seemed to decide that the question was not so offensive that she could reasonably ignore it, she said in a deeply resentful tone, ‘Nearly sixteen years.’

‘Quite a period,’ said Professor Umbridge, making a note on her clipboard. ‘So it was Professor Dumbledore who appointed you?’

‘That’s right,’ said Professor Trelawney shortly.

Professor Umbridge made another note.

‘And you are a great-great-granddaughter of the celebrated Seer Cassandra Trelawney?’

‘Yes,’ said Professor Trelawney, holding her head a little higher. Another note on the clipboard.

‘But I think—correct me if I am mistaken—that you are the first in your family since Cassandra to be possessed of second sight?’

‘These things often skip—er—three generations,’ said Professor Trelawney.

Professor Umbridge’s toadlike smile widened.

‘Of course,’ she said sweetly, making yet another note. ‘Well, if you could just predict something for me, then?’

She looked up inquiringly, still smiling. Professor Trelawney had stiffened as though unable to believe her ears.

‘I don’t understand you,’ said Professor Trelawney, clutching convulsively at the shawl around her scrawny neck.

‘I’d like you to make a prediction for me,’ said Professor Umbridge very clearly.

Harry, Tracey, and Theodore were not the only people watching and listening sneakily from behind their books now; most of the class were staring transfixed at Professor Trelawney as she drew herself up to her full height, her beads and bangles clinking.

‘The Inner Eye does not See upon command!’ she said in scandalized tones.

‘I see,’ said Professor Umbridge softly, making yet another note on her clipboard.

‘I—but—but...wait!’ said Professor Trelawney suddenly, in an attempt at her usual ethereal voice, though the mystical effect was ruined somewhat by the way it was shaking with anger. ‘I...I think I do see something...something that concerns you...Why, I sense something...something dark...some grave peril...’

Professor Trelawney pointed a shaking finger at Professor Umbridge who continued to smile blandly at her, eyebrows raised.

‘I am afraid...I am afraid that you are in grave danger!’ Professor Trelawney finished dramatically.

There was a pause. Professor Umbridge’s eyebrows were still raised.

‘Right,’ she said softly, scribbling on her clipboard once more. ‘Well, if that’s really the best you can do...’

She turned away, leaving Professor Trelawney standing rooted to the spot, her chest heaving. Harry caught both Theodore and Tracey’s eyes and knew that they were thinking exactly the same as he was: They all knew that Professor Trelawney was a fraud, but on the other hand, they loathed Umbridge so much that they felt very much on Trelawney’s side—until she swooped down on them a few seconds later, that was.

‘Well?’ she said, snapping her long fingers under Harry’s nose, uncharacteristically brisk. ‘Let me see the start you’ve made on your dream diary, please.’

And by the time she had interpreted Harry’s dreams at the top of her voice (all of which, even the ones that involved eating porridge, apparently foretold a gruesome and early death), he was feeling much less sympathetic toward her. All the while, Professor Umbridge stood a few feet away, making notes on that clipboard, and when the bell rang she descended the silver ladder, giving Harry a slight sense of relief.

When they arrived at Charms class they filled Allison in on all that had happened.

‘She basically made Trelawney look like a faker,’ Theodore exclaimed.

‘But she is a scam,’ Allison protested, ‘I don’t approve of Umbridge’s methods but Trelawney has only made two actual predictions in her life.’

‘Yeah, well Trelawney is our scam artist and it’d be a shame to lose her,’ said Tracey.

After a moment Allison whispered in Harry’s ear, ‘And a shame to lose a teacher who can’t recognize made up dreams from real ones.’

A small smile crossed Harry’s lips, but it did not last. His detention that night was utterly brutal and it took the entire time of him descending both the stairs from the second floor to the main floor, then the stairs that lead to the Slytherin Dungeon before his aching hand stopped bleeding. He wasn’t sure how he managed to sleep through the pain, but his exhaustion carried him into a dreamless sleep.