While you all went to Hogwarts classes and practiced spells like any other day, I sat in the shadows.

While you all argued over characters and ships in a hopefully helpful way, I mastered the blade.

While you all bothered yourself with trivial roleplays and fan theories, I learned da wae.

While you all fellow USAns moved on to celebrating Christmas despite the fact that Thanksgiving had barely ended, I grew another year older.

And now I request nothing but for people to apparate by my side, in the shadows, and congratulate me for staying alive another year.

Happy birthday to me.