Disclaimer: These series of events are made for Fanmade Purposes only, I do not own any of these characters, I do not intend to make any money off of said characters nor the Fanfic itself, no copyright infringement is intended.

~xXx~

*At the Death Eater meeting, Lucius just had to make that damn bathroom excuse to dismiss himself, but after a few hours, he was still not back yet, Bellatrix and Snape were both actually needing to use the bathroom at the exact same time (don't ask lol), and if Lucius hadn't been in the bathroom already, they would've been fighting over who gets to use the bathroom, but in this case, they didn't care anymore about their own animosity, Lucius was taking forever, and that's what was making them so mad, they were getting impatient*

Bellatrix, kicking and punching at the door while yelling: ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH TIME IN THE BATHROOM, ME AND THE SNAPEY PINHEAD HAVE TO TAKE A CORNELIUS FUDGING SHIITAKE MUSHROOM RIGHT NOW!!!

Lucius: Then find your own, both of you, I have a personal fudge I need to finish so I can deliver it to my Dark Lady.

Snape: NARCISSA DIVORCED YOU, YOU BUMBLING IDIOT!

Lucius: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT NARCISSA, YOU KYLO REN WANNABE, I'M TALKING ABOUT MY NEW LADY WHO WAS ALSO DIVORCED BY HER WORTHLESS EX HUSBAND!

Bellatrix, slightly scared but mostly enraged: .. You're following Molly Weasley?

Lucius, putting his hands up in the air: Fight me, Bella.

Bellatrix, growling ferally: Oh I'll ferreting fight you alright–

Snape, holding Bellatrix back: Let me handle this..

Snape: *picks up a rock* MALFOY, OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!

Voldemort, sighing in the background: These aren't Death Eaters.. These are tantrum screamers.. I'm surrounded by two man children and one woman child.

Lucius: WILL YOU TWO LEAVE ME ALONE?! USE YOUR DAMN WANDS IF YOU WANNA BREAK IN MY BATHROOM! OR JUST FIND A DIFFERENT BATHROOM LIKE I SAID EARLIER!

Snape: YOURS IS LITERALLY THE CLOSEST BY AND WE NEED TO GO NOW!

Bellatrix: GET THE FERRETING MOTHERFERRET OUT OF THAT BATHROOM AND LET ME TAKE A SHIITAKE WHILE SEVERUS HOLDS IT AND THEN HE CAN GO ONCE I'M DONE!

Lucius, slamming his hands on the other side of the door, screaming: IN A MOTHERFERRETING MINUTE!!!

Bellatrix: BUT WE NEED TO GO NOW!!!

Snape: YOU HEAR THAT, LUCIFER MALFOY?! SHE SAID NOW, NOT A MINUTE, NOW, GET OUT, NOW!!!

Voldemort: You can literally just use your wands..?

Bellatrix: ..

Snape: ..

Lucius: ..

Bellatrix and Snape, getting out their wands: Bombarda–

Lucius: NOOOOOO–

Bellatrix and Snape: –Maxima!

*The bathroom door blows up, it turns out, Lucius never really needed to actually use the bathroom, he was purposely taking forever because he didn't want anyone seeing him trying to make a statue of Molly Weasley as a gift to her, but now it had been destroyed by Bellatrix and Snape's magic since the statue went from looking almost accurate to Molly to a bunch of tiny broken stones on the ground and Lucius had been knocked down by the spell, however, he lived, but when he saw his statue was ruined, he just about flipped*

Lucius: *screams in the most dramatic AF banshee sounding scream you could ever hear*

Bellatrix: .. *maniacal laughter* Oh my Ray Gods.. You were making a STATUE this whole time?!

Snape, shaking his head in disbelief: So you didn't really need to use the bathroom then..

Bellatrix: At least we can take a shiitake now..

Lucius, pouting: I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! MY PURITY RECONCILIATION STATUE THAT WAS MEANT FOR MOLLY DEAREST IS RUINED BECAUSE OF YOU TWO! *stomps off crying so hard his ponytail comes out of his hair.. don't ask how he's able to cry that hard lol*

*After Lucius left his house, Bellatrix and Snape went at it over the bathroom, and of course, as usual, Bellatrix won*

Snape: Damn it.

Bellatrix: HA HA MAYBE NEXT TIME, PINHEAD!

Snape: *shrugs* Eh, at least this loss was better than every other loss I had.

Voldemort: .. How?

Snape: We made Lucius cry.

Voldemort: Fair enough.

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