Previous chapters:
Chapter 1: https://harrypotter.fandom.com/f/p/4400000000003511265
Chapter 2: https://harrypotter.fandom.com/f/p/4400000000003514336
Tags:
@MeowTasticCat @IMPERIAL TRANSMISSIONS @HxnyFlxwers @HRRYPTTERFN234 @Brystal Granger @Widelymisunderstood
Chapter 3: Finding a New Normal
The week that followed was jam packed. First Sirius and Remus had to sign a bunch of paperwork, and Remus had to confront his previous landlord so that he could move. And then after a couple days of searching, the two men finally found a decent flat with two bedrooms on Charing Cross Road in London. Remus moved all of his stuff in, Sirius brought his few worldly possessions including the stuff he bought for Harry, and finally there little apartment was feeling like a home.
A week after the trial Remus started at his new position within the auror.
‘Sirius, I’m going out now. Be good with Harry, I’ll be back after six, hopefully.’
‘Ok, bye Moony.’
And then it was just Sirius and Harry. He had been taking care of Harry for a week, but he always had Remus to concur any decision he made. Now he had to interpret Harry’s every need on his own.
It was hard, but soon Sirius realized Lily and James had done some of the work for him. Harry knew, amongst a small vocabulary of other simple words, “bottle”, so Sirius at the very least knew when he was hungry. Sirius spent the morning playing with him, and watching Harry explore his new surroundings by crawling all over the place. However before the clock had even struck noon, Harry was showing all the signs of a tired toddler, so when he started crying out of no where Sirius scooped him up and brought him to the small bedroom. He plopped him down in the crib, but Harry started saying something between sobs.
‘Fwedy-fwedy-fwedy’
Sirius wasn’t certain, but he assumed this was a toy Harry had. As part of the investigation into Voldemort’s defeat, Sirius wasn’t allowed to return to the Potter’s house in Godric's Hollow to collect any of Harry’s old stuff. Instead Sirius picked up a child sized soft blanket Remus had bought Harry, and handed it to the small toddler.
‘Sorry Fawny, no Freddy.’
Harry took the blanket, but continued to cry and cry until he put himself to sleep. Sirius sighed and then went to his room.
The apartment only had two bedrooms, so Remus and Sirius had cast a spell to magically split the bigger bedroom into two small ones, each with a single sized bed and there personal possessions. Sirius just sat on his bed, he had originally the intention of doing a task, but the sudden silence got to him.
In the ten days since he found out about James and Lily’s death he had not once had a moment to process that fact. He had constantly been doing jobs that needed to be done to raise Harry, and then pass out from exhaustion, he never once had the time to truly think about the fact that James was gone.
Anger, frustration, and immense sadness flooded him. He thought about his basically adopted brother, how he was never going to fight along side him again, tell jokes together again, go on motorcycle rides, or simply be friends in old age together. The thought also lingered that if he had just checked on that blasted Pettigrew a few hours earlier, he might have been able to warn them and get them out of the house. Why did he trust Peter, why hadn’t he gone earlier, how could he be responsible for such a tragedy.
Sirius felt like screaming, breaking something, crying profoundly, but instead he just kept sitting on that bed, for hours and hours.
Sirius probably would have remained in that state if Harry hadn’t woken up and started crying again. Sirius forced himself to get up, and head to Harry’s room. When Harry saw him, he started crying, ‘Up. Up.’
Sirius scooped him up and held him in his arms. Sirius rocked him, and held him close, but Harry kept crying and calling for his Freddy, but he finally did calm a little and then said something that would break his heart.
‘Mommy...?’ He said it in the saddest voice Sirius had ever heard, and he once again just wanted to break down, but he forced it deep deep down and spoke calmly to Harry.
‘Li-Mommy isn’t here Harry. But I am. And I am going to promise you this now, I am never going to leave you, and I am never going to let anything bad happen to you again.’
An idea popped into his head. He walked to his bedroom and put Harry down on his bed gently. Sirius dug through his nightstand and got out a picture of James and Lily, it was the only one he had of the to of them together. He sat down and put Harry in his lap and showed it to Harry, the picture of his parents waved and smiled at him.
This only had the opposite result however, Harry continued to bawl, and cry, and scream. Sirius just didn’t know what to do. He was lost and for the first time he was truly, one-hundred percent doubting his ability to raise Harry. Not long later, however, the flat’s door opened and a familiar voice called out.
‘I’m home!’
Sirius had never been so relieved to hear a wizards voice.
‘We’re in my room. I can’t get him to stop crying Moony, he wants his comfort toy, and I think he’s finally noticed the absence of his parents.’
‘I think I may be able to help with both, Padfoot.’
Remus walked in, carrying a giant box in his arms. He set it down in front of Harry and Sirius, and when Sirius looked down he was shocked at what he saw.
‘This is all of Fawny’s stuff from Godric’s Hollow, how did you get it, that place is off limits.’
‘I’m an auror, remember, I asked my boss for a favour. He knows just as much as we do that this stuff wouldn’t explain why You-Know-Who is gone, and that they are of greater use here then collecting dust back there.’
Remus reaches in and pulled out specifically all of Harry’s soft toys, and the little boy cried out in joy.
‘Fwedy!’
He was reaching for a white, hand sewn stuffed creature, with two cute blue button eyes. This calmed him right down.
Sirius day up and walked to Harry’s room and put him and his Freddy into the crib where he began to snuggle and babble at the stuffed toy. Remus then entered with the box, and together the two of them filled the room with Harry’s old possessions. The box also contained all photos the house contained of James, Harry, Lily, and any combination of the three. They stuck them in places Harry could see, and when they were finished the room finally felt like a nursery.
They then proceeded to make supper. Simply spaghetti for the two of them, and mashed up vegetables for Harry. As they prepared, Remus spoke.
‘I noticed you called him Fawny, what’s that about?’
‘Oh, it’s something James referred to Harry as in his letters, I think it was a cute way to reference his Animagus form and Lily’s Patronus.’
‘I think it is sweet as well.’
Sirius took a deep breath.
‘Remus, I’m glad you came home when you did. I was so lost today, I did everything I could and yet I still couldn’t keep him happy. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, I am not ready. I-‘
‘Sirius, hey Sirius, listen to me. You are not doing this alone. You here me, I am going to help you as much as I can and together we can do this.’
‘Remus, I am really grateful for your financial support, but I don’t want to ruin your life any more than I already have. You should be spending your evenings enjoying yourself, maybe meeting someone, not changing diapers and watching the kid when I am out.’
‘Padfoot. You are not ruining my life, trust me, I am happy to help in anyway you need. I am legally Harry’s guardian as well, remember. And I intend to be his guardian in more than just title.’
Sirius looked into Remus’s green eyes, and just got lost in the sincerity in them, and the confidence and kindness.
That evening Remus watched Harry as Sirius went out to Diagon Ally to drop off many resumes. He could only hope he would get a response and quick.
The next day Remus had to leave work early as moon rise would be at four-thirty and he didn’t want to not have enough time to set up. Sirius and Remus removed all of the furniture in the living room and set it aside, including magically removing the floor tiles revealing the concrete floor below. Sirius cast a spell to have increabibly strong chains spawn from the floor and attached the cuffs to Remus’ wrists and ankles.
He hated seeming his friend chained like this, but they didn’t have an isolated location for Remus to transform in, so for Harry and other tenets safety this was the best option. The final step was Sirius cast a sound dampening spell so no one outside the living room could hear Remus.
‘You should go, I don’t want you seeing me like that.’
‘But I always stayed before, as my Scottish Deerhound form, it always kept you calm before...’
‘We aren’t kids anymore Sirius, I don’t want you to see me-‘
‘But Remus-‘
However instead of a a verbal response, he got only the sound of rustling chains. Sirius turned to see his dear friend go ridged, nothing he hadn’t seen before. He morphed himself into the Hound. Lupin’s limbs began to shake, then lengthen. Remus made a terrible snarling noice that broke Sirius’ heart every time, so sad, so in pain.
But then it occurred to Sirius, Remus was still growing. At hogwarts he only every free to be about seven feet tall, but he was past that now. Finally, as his head morphed into a muzzle, his shoulders hunched, hands turned to paws and claws, and grey fur grew all over his body, did he stop growing at around 10 feet.
Sirius couldn’t speak as a dog, but if he could he probably would said how much more terrifying Remus had become. He wanted to now follow Remus’ request, but he couldn’t, he knew that a calm werewolf is less likely to hurt itself or try to escape. So despite how scared he was, he stayed with Lupin all night, just like he used to with James and Petter in the Shrieking Shack.
At about seven-thirty the moon finally set and painfully Remus transformed back. He sat there shaking, as always. Sirius undid the chains and knelt next to him. Remus slowly calmed down, there was silence for a bit, but then he spoke.
‘I told you to go.’
‘Remus, just like how you aren’t going to abandon me, I am not going to abandon you. Although a warning about the growth spurt would have been appreciated.’ Sirius said jokingly.
‘Yeah, that happened shortly after hogwarts, I think that’s the last one though, I won’t get any bigger or meaner.’
‘That’s a relief. Hey, do you want anything, I can make breakfast while you recover.’
Sirius got up and was just about to open a cupboard when he heard Remus call out.
‘Sirius-‘
‘Yeah?’
‘Thank you...’