10. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
More like Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Kiss-My-Butt-kaban, am I right? This movie was boring, dull, cringeworthy, and the plot is very uneven and unfocused, using O.P. devices like Time Turners for awkward goose chases instead of, I dunno, making sure Voldy doesn't spread his mold across Europe? I see where people are coming from about this being good but this movie makes "X-Men: Apocalypse" look like a masterpiece by comparison.
9. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
This delightful but ultimately forgettable sequel is a great time with the little brother but kinda flat otherwise. It definitely works out a lot of the kinks of the first one in ideal ways, however. The action is fun, Daniel Radcliffe slays as Harry Potter, and Christian Coulson steals the show. I get that this is a kid's movie and that's kinda the point, but I just wish it was more...enjoyable.
8. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
After the Ministry gives Fudge a tiny piece of what he deserves and begins taking action against the dark forces, you'd expect this movie to be epic, but instead we'll have to wait until “Deathly Hallows – Part 1” for anyone to get down and try and throw Voldemort off his pedestal. For being a movie about war, it's awfully action-free and is mostly just another cheesy love story. Plus with the ever-moldy Grindelwald wannabe at large, you'd think Harry's scar would be hurting a little more, but no one once acknowledges its existence. Try figuring that one out if you can. The huge fight at the end is actually just Draco pointing his wand at Dumbledore and Bellatrix adorably smashing plates and telling Hagrid they want to see him before there's a tiny bit of fire and martial wandwork that ends with Snape revealing he's the Half-Blood Prince, but it's been so long since anyone mentioned that that we don't even care. The Potions Master is the Half-Blood Prince?! What a twist! I thought it'd be Uncle Vernon for sure!!! At the end of the movie I was like “Okay there's a love story and a big reveal about soul mutilation so do we finally get down in 2010...? Why did this need its own movie?” Now let's stop thinking about this pile of sludge so we can enjoy the excitement to come, shall we? Starting with the Dursleys' departure and the Malfoy Manor rendezvous and the Trio learning things they never knew about each other, and leaving off with the free peoples of wizarding France putting out Grindelwald's fire with the power of their unification.
7. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald
What's with all the hate?! This movie has great messages and great characters and is the least nerdy and most suspenseful of the entire franchise. Grindelwald, Nagini, and Vinda are all welcome contributions to this epic sequel. Grindelwald's a pretty chill villain to be honest, but I still can't wait to watch Dumbledore kick his butt. Or to watch Newt propose to Tina. Or to be informed that Ezra Miller and Johnny Depp are not going anywhere.
6. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2
I admittedly didn't fully appreciate this film at all until after a rewatch, but it builds on everything the first movie presented in compelling ways. It's like a Hobbit 3 before Hobbit 3 and I admittedly prefer that movie. For being an action montage, it overall punches its audience in the gut with emotional stakes while still being a blast. On the downside, it's extremely rushed and Bellatrix died way too easily while Ron and Hermione were getting their butts kicked by a snake whose force field was lifted after Harry's death and even Ron's killing curse was too weak for her scales. Also the Massacre at Malfoy Manor scene was not handled well at all.
5. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
The cute one...the beginning of the legend is a great time on Friday night and the only film I'd recommend as a family film. Considering it precedes more intense movies like "Deathly Hallows Part 1" and "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them", "Sorcerer's Stone" manages to be just as entertaining but also stress-free — a peculiar comparison, but a welcome one.
4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
The weirdest thing about this movie is that they gave Lord Voldemort more to do than Ron and Hermione put together—I mean, he's usually just there, but in this movie he's in the forefront orchestrating everything with the vastly superior brain of Doctor Who. The fourth HP movie captures the spirit of the first half of the original eight movies, while taking more risks that pave the way for its ambitious future. Hagrid and Maxime are so freaking cute together and I loved seeing the dragon less cool only than Smaug and Saphira take flight but not as much as Barty displaying the Unforgivable Curses or Harry and Voldemort locking magic beams like they're playing tug-of-war or mimicking Obi-Wan and Count Dooku's lightsaber lock in "Attack of the Clones". Mike Newell clearly understood the characters even if he didn't get the plot down very well at all, and it really shows for better and worse and let's face it the novel is like 700 pages long. Plus the music is some of the best in cinematic history with tracks like “Harry in Winter” and “The Quidditch World Cup” that I could listen to all day long. It's a pity they couldn't do this with "Half-Blood Prince". Plus this is the movie that made me think the series was finally starting to make sense and you can enjoy it without being a total nerd.
3. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Can we all agree Bellatrix Lestrange's brief appearance in this movie was one of the most epic things on the face of the earth? Being sexy and awesome in equal measure, Bellatrix looks like a goddess in black robes and acts like a true warrior at heart and Helena Bonham Carter captures her character in a way no one else can. Aside from getting weird ideas about Bellatrix, though, everyone gives this movie their full, even Emma Watson, whose acting is usually cringey at best, though Imelda Staunton did an amazing job as Umbridge, and Michael Gambon slayed as Dumbledore. Oh, and Cornelius Fudge, more like Horn-elius Sludge, am I right? Before the Death Eaters took on the Order in the best film to date, they transformed the movies for the better. "Order of the Phoenix" is part action movie, part political thriller that, in hindsight, set the standard for the franchise going forward.
2. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
This cinematic wonder beats anything you'll see at school, and that is truly saying something. (If that doesn't make any sense I'll know you're not a real fan.) Exciting visuals, compelling source material, and some unforgettable characters — Jacob is a great person and his character is perfect in every way — help "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" stand out among other movies in the Potterverse. It's a visually stunning movie that really tests the waters with how experimental and weird these movies can get. It's structure is so unfamiliar compared to the earlier "Harry Potter" movies, and that's a good thing. It was definitely the right decision to tease Grindelwald instead of have him openly appear in the film consistently.
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1
From special effects blowing “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” out of the water to acting that Emma's not doing a good job at hampering to rich plot points (and about ten minutes of tent bromance) to expertly converted (and translated) dialogue, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1" is perfect in every way and utterly flawless, and more than compensates for the two hours of my life wasted on the pointless interlude between this and “Order of the Phoenix”. There are so many memorable scenes I can't even decide which is my favorite. The memory wipe, the Seven Potters, Ron's Splinching, Gregorovitch's interrogation, Nagini's ambush, the Three Brothers, Malfoy Manor, and most of all the undying friendship and loyalty and utter co-dependency that's been keeping this franchise together, there's literally nothing to be hated and everything to be loved. This movie reinforces the real stakes and everything makes sense thanks to years of build-up. Plus it's nice to leave wizarding boarding school for a change and get out there in the wild where anything can happen. And Voldemort closing the masterpiece by lighting the sky with his evil? Freaking epic! No doubt this masterpiece will be burned into my subconscious for the rest of my life.
How much of this do you Potterheads agree with? How would you rank these films?
