All posts by Matipereira

An imaginary version of Harry from an alternate universe called the Wizarding Cinematic Universe (and Wizarding Earth 3 for the characters) and Lucius Malfoy from the real movies (I call the universe from the real movies Wizarding Earth 1) are in Dean's forest in that Harry's universe having beaten in a fight an imaginary version of Peter Pettigrew played by Simon Helberg from an imaginary reboot movie series where I imagine myself playing Harry directed by Steven Spielberg (I call that universe Wizarding Earth 2), who somehow lost his clothes as a secondary effect from a spell of that universe's Dumbledore that caused him to get there

Lucius Malfoy: different Potter. That's weird

Harry: thank you so much

Peter Pettigrew wakes up shortly after having been briefly unconscious

Peter Pettigrew: I got my body back

Harry: hey guys this is gonna sound crazy but this isn't your universe

Lucius Malfoy: What?!

Peter Pettigrew: This is another universe? That's what I was feeling. Magic is different. I like it

Peter Pettigrew makes a threatening face

Lucius Malfoy: Easy boy

Harry: it's actually my fault you guys are here

Peter Pettigrew: You mean the universe or the forest? I hate the forest!

Harry: I mean the universe sir

Peter Pettigrew: so what?! Are you guys just gonna stand there pretending I'm not completely naked?!

Lucius Malfoy: I am

Harry: No no… uhm…

Harry sees builder clothes, teleports Peter Pettigrew with the clothes on to a cell in a dungeon in the basement of the Hog's Head Inn in Hogsmeade next to the cells of Snape from the real movies and an imaginary version of Sirius turned into a weredog (basically his animagus form but in werewolf size) played by Jim Parsons from the imaginary reboot series directed by Steven Spielberg where I imagine myself playing Harry, Snape waves at Peter Pettigrew and the scene changes back to Harry and Lucius Malfoy

Lucius Malfoy: Who was he? What did you do to him?

Harry: No no no it's ok

Lucius Malfoy: did you kill him?!

Harry: No no no! I didn't kill him! I'll explain everything! You just have to trust me!

Lucius Malfoy: I don't trust you! I don't know you! Avada…!

Lucius Malfoy prepares to attack Harry and Harry teleports him to a cell in the dungeon

Lucius Malfoy: What is this?!

Peter Pettigrew: You picked the wrong side Goldilocks!

Sirius: Hahahahaha!

Peter Pettigrew: Black?

Snape: wait. You know this creature?

Peter Pettigrew: No no no. Not the creature. The man!

Ron: wow! They're from the same universe!

Peter Pettigrew: Sirius Black. He was one of my best friends at Hogwarts and an employee from the Muggle department in the ministry of magic when I worked there. A brilliant employee. Until he turned himself into a weredog. Then he tried to turn the whole city into weredogs. It was crazy!

Sirius: it wasn't crazy Peter. It was the next step in wizardkind evolution

Ron: The werewolf can talk!

Hermione: weredog

Ron: right

Sirius: speaking of which what happened to you? Last I recall you had a beard, glasses and curly hear just like Hooper from the movie Jaws. Did you get a makeover? You know I can make you a real makeover

Peter Pettigrew: Let me guess. Into a half dog half rat mix?

Sirius: exactly!

Lucius Malfoy: Will you 2 shut the bloody hell up?! Where are we?!

Ron: It's complicated

Hermione: A dungeon in the Hog's Head Inn

Peter Pettigrew: Hog's… Hog's Head Inn?

Hermione: there's no other way to say it. We're literally in a dungeon in the Hog's Head Inn

Peter Pettigrew: Well you can keep your butterbeers. I want that new magic I used

Hermione's phone rings and it's Harry

Hermione: Oh Harry hello

Harry: are those guys there? One should be a guy who can turn himself into a rat and a guy with light and long blond hair

Hermione: yeah those guys are here completely locked

Harry: ok. I'm gonna stay here for a while to fix the damage. I don't want to be blamed again

Hermione: yeah ok

Harry: hey I couldn't have done this without you so thanks

Hermione: yeah you're welcome

Harry hangs up the phone, stays fixing the damage and the scene changes back to Ron looking at a tree Harry accidentally teleported to a cell in the dungeon

Ron: hey ask him if that's a tree creature or a potions professor who turned himself into a tree

Peter Pettigrew: that's just a tree. Just a tree

Every character who appeared in both The Philosopher's Stone and The Chamber of Secrets (38 characters):

• Harry

• Hermione

• Ron

• Ginny

• Neville

• Fred

• George

• Dumbledore

• McGonagall

• Hagrid

• James

• Lily

• Molly

• Seamus

• Dean

• Snape

• Flitwick

• Malfoy

• Crabbe

• Goyle

• Filch

• Hedwig

• Fang

• Voldemort

• Peter Pettigrew

• Vernon

• Petunia

• Dudley

• Percy

• Katie Bell

• Angelina Johnson

• Trevor

• Oliver Wood

• Sorting Hat

• Nearly Headless Nick

• Lee Jordan

• Susan Bones

• Marcus Flint

Every character who appeared in The Philosopher's Stone, The Chamber of Secrets and The Prisoner of Azkaban (30 characters):

• Harry

• Hermione

• Ron

• Ginny

• Neville

• Fred

• George

• Dumbledore

• McGonagall

• Hagrid

• James

• Lily

• Molly

• Seamus

• Dean

• Snape

• Flitwick

• Malfoy

• Crabbe

• Goyle

• Filch

• Hedwig

• Fang

• Peter Pettigrew

• Vernon

• Petunia

• Dudley

• Percy

• Angelina Johnson

• Trevor

Every character who appeared in The Philosopher's Stone, The Chamber of Secrets, The Prisoner of Azkaban and The Goblet of Fire (23 characters):

• Harry

• Hermione

• Ron

• Ginny

• Neville

• Fred

• George

• Dumbledore

• McGonagall

• Hagrid

• James

• Lily

• Seamus

• Dean

• Snape

• Flitwick

• Malfoy

• Crabbe

• Goyle

• Filch

• Hedwig

• Peter Pettigrew

• Angelina Johnson

Every character who appeared in The Philosopher's Stone, The Chamber of Secrets, The Prisoner of Azkaban, The Goblet of Fire and The Order of the Phoenix (22 characters):

• Harry

• Hermione

• Ron

• Ginny

• Neville

• Fred

• George

• Dumbledore

• McGonagall

• Hagrid

• James

• Lily

• Seamus

• Dean

• Snape

• Flitwick

• Malfoy

• Crabbe

• Goyle

• Filch

• Hedwig

• Peter Pettigrew

Every character who appeared in The Philosopher's Stone, The Chamber of Secrets, The Prisoner of Azkaban, The Goblet of Fire, The Order of the Phoenix and The Half-Blood Prince (21 characters):

• Harry

• Hermione

• Ron

• Ginny

• Neville

• Fred

• George

• Dumbledore

• McGonagall

• Hagrid

• Lily

• Seamus

• Dean

• Snape

• Flitwick

• Malfoy

• Crabbe

• Goyle

• Filch

• Hedwig

• Peter Pettigrew

Every character who appeared in The Philosopher's Stone, The Chamber of Secrets, The Prisoner of Azkaban, The Goblet of Fire, The Order of the Phoenix, The Half-Blood Prince and The Deathly Hallows Part 1 (16 characters):

• Harry

• Hermione

• Ron

• Ginny

• Neville

• Fred

• George

• Dumbledore

• Hagrid

• Lily

• Seamus

• Snape

• Malfoy

• Goyle

• Hedwig

• Peter Pettigrew

Every character who appeared in The Philosopher's Stone, The Chamber of Secrets, The Prisoner of Azkaban, The Goblet of Fire, The Order of the Phoenix, The Half-Blood Prince, The Deathly Hallows Part 1 and The Deathly Hallows Part 2 (14 characters):

• Harry

• Hermione

• Ron

• Ginny

• Neville

• Fred

• George

• Dumbledore

• Hagrid

• Lily

• Seamus

• Snape

• Malfoy

• Goyle

I'd have Steven Spielberg direct The Philosopher's Stone and The Chamber of Secrets, Christopher Nolan direct The Prisoner of Azkaban, James Cameron direct The Goblet of Fire and Peter Jackson direct the The Order of the Phoenix, The Half-Blood Prince, The Deathly Hallows Part 1 and The Deathly Hallows Part 2. I feel some of those movies kind of have trademarks with those directors

Those are some of my thoughts

Steven Spielberg: I think Voldemort would look like the alien from the end of Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind

Christopher Nolan: I think Voldemort would look like a normal person but using makeup similar to the Joker from The Dark Knight

James Cameron: I think Voldemort would look like a human sized grey Na'vi from Avatar

Tim Burton: I think Voldemort would be stop-motion animated in a style that makes it obvious to viewers Tim Burton directed the movie

Peter Jackson: I think Voldemort would look Azog from The Hobbit

Wes Anderson: I think Voldemort would be stop-motion animated and look a little like 1 of the 3 main villains from Fantastic Mr Fox but in grey

Robert Zemeckis: I think Voldemort would be motion captured and probably would look more or less the same

George Lucas: I think Voldemort would look like Palpatine from Star Wars

Michael Bay: I think Voldemort would basically be a robot

Hermione spent more Christmas holidays outside Hogwarts than in Hogwarts. She only spent Christmas in Hogwarts in The Chamber of Secrets, The Prisoner of Azkaban and The Goblet of Fire but in the other 4 books The Philosopher's Stone, The Order of the Phoenix, The Half-Blood Prince and The Deathly Hallows she was outside Hogwarts

The movie was released on November 16, 2001 and grossed $974 million in its initial release (and $1.006 billion after re-releases), which made it at the time the 2nd highest-grossing movie in the world (behind Titanic). It's now the 51st highest-grossing movie in the world*. It's also the highest-grossing movie of 2001. It was also the highest-grossing movie ever distributed by Warner Bros (surpassing Matrix 1) until it was surpassed by The Dark Knight in 2008. It was the 4th movie in history to gross $900 million (after Jurassic Park 1, Titanic and The Phantom Menace). It was also the 1st movie ever distributed by Warner Bros to gross $500 million, $600 million, $700 million, $800 million and $900 million. When it was re-released in 2020 it became the 47th movie in history to gross $1 billion and the 3rd to do so after a re-release (after The Phantom Menace and Jurassic Park 1). It's my least favorite Harry Potter movie. I didn't actually hate it. It's just I liked the next 7 movies more. I usually like every movie more than the previous one. It was a big start for the Harry Potter franchise

*It would rank 52nd if Jurassic Park 1 (1993), which grossed $912 million in its initial release (and $1.034 billion after re-releases), The Phantom Menace (1999), which grossed $924 million in its initial release (and $1.027 billion after re-releases), and this movie had never been re-released

The movie was released on November 15, 2002 and grossed $878 million worldwide in its initial release, which made it at the time the 6th highest-grossing movie in the world (behind Titanic, The Philosopher's Stone, The Phantom Menace, Jurassic Park 1 and The Lord of the Rings 1). It's now the 70th highest-grossing movie in the world*. It's also the 2nd highest-grossing movie of 2002 (behind The Lord of the Rings 2). It was also the 8th movie in history to gross $800 million (after Jurassic Park 1, Independence Day 1, Titanic, The Phantom Menace, The Philosopher's Stone, The Lord of the Rings 1 and Spider-Man 1). When it was re-released in 2021 it became the 62nd movie in history to gross $900 million and the 3rd movie to do so after a re-release (after The Lion King and Finding Nemo). It's my 2nd least favorite Harry Potter movie (above The Philosopher's Stone). I don't actually hate it. It's just I like every movie more than the previous one and I rank it closer to The Philosopher's Stone than The Deathly Hallows Part 2

*It would rank 66th if The Lion King (1994), which grossed $763 million in its initial release (and $968 million after re-releases), Finding Nemo (2003), which grossed $871 million in its initial release (and $940 million after re-releases), The Secret Life of Pets 1 (2016), which grossed $875 million in its initial release (and $894 million after re-releases), and this movie had never been re-released

Title: Harry Potter and the Return of Magic

Plot: Harry is in his 5th year at Hogwarts as he discovers more about his father's past and becomes interested in working in the Muggle department of the ministry of magic and becomes forced to stop his godfather Sirius, who turned into a giant black dog, from turning the city of London in giant dogs. I admit the plot is basically a copy of The Amazing Spider-Man 1

Crew:

Director: Steven Spielberg

Producer: Steven Spielberg

Screenwriters: Steven Spielberg and me

Music: John Williams

Cast:

Harry: Me

Hermione: Millie Bobby Brown

Ron: Don't know yet

Sirius: Jim Parsons

Daisy (a woman who I imagine as Sirius' wife): Mayim Bialik

Dumbledore: Harrison Ford

McGonagall: Karen Allen

Hagrid: Tom Hanks

Snape: Tom Hiddleston

Arthur: Chris Pratt

Fudge: Martin Short

What do you think of this?