Note: I wanted to do this song but the original title is too explicit for the wiki so instead of the real thing I did the internet is for ships instead, I do not own this song at all, the original goes to the creator. If you don't know the original song consider yourself lucky but if you want to know it just Avenue Q songs and you'll eventually find it.
Hermione: Finally, I get to teach a whole lesson all by myself. And I'm going to teach something relevant, something modern. The ✨internet✨
Hermione, singing: The internet is really really great.
Snape: For ships!
Hermione, singing: I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait...
Snape: For ships!
Hermione: Huh?
Hermione, singing: There's always some new site.
Snape: For ships!
Hermione, singing: I browse all day and night.
Snape: For ships!
Hermione, singing: It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light.
Snape: For ships!
Hermione: Professor Snape!
Snape, singing: The internet is for ships.
Hermione: Professor Snape!
Snape, singing: The internet is for ships.
Hermione: What are you doing???
Snape, singing: Where do you put your eyes to dip? Ships, ships, ships.
Hermione: Professor Snape.
Snape: Oh, hello, Miss Granger...
Hermione: You are ruining my song!
Snape, smirking: Sorry, I don't mean to. (Yes I do)
Hermione: Well, would you mind shutting the ferret up so I can finish?
Snape: Ugh, fine. (Not really)
Hermione: Good.
Hermione, singing: I'm glad we have this new technology.
Snape: For ships — *holds back laughter* Oops.
Hermione: Ugh.
Hermione, singing, mildly annoyed: Which gives us untold opportunity.
Snape: For ships — *covers his smirk*
Hermione, singing: Right from your own desktop.
Snape: For— *hides smirk again*
Hermione, singing: You can research browse and shop.
Until you've had enough and your ready to stop.
Snape: FOR SHIPS!
Hermione: Professor Snape!
Snape, singing: The internet is for ships.
Hermione: No!
Snape, singing: The internet is for ships.
Hermione: Professor Snape!
Snape, singing: Me up all night with my hand to grip on ships, ships, ships.
Hermione: That's gross! You're a creep.
Snape: Ah, sticks and stones, Miss Granger.
Hermione: No, really. You're a creep. Normal people don't sit at home and look at ships on the internet.
Snape, smirking: Oooh?
Hermione: What?
Snape: You have no idea! *turns around for the "normal" people* READY NORMAL PEOPLE?
Neville: Ready.
Harry: Ready.
Ron: Ready.
Snape: LEMME HEAR IT!!!
Snape, Harry, Neville, Ron and Draco, singing: The internet is for ships.
Draco: Sorry Granger.
Snape, Harry, Neville, Ron and Draco, singing: The internet is for ships.
Draco: I'm in danger.
Snape, singing: All these guys go set their eyes...
Snape, Harry, Neville, Ron and Draco, singing: On ships, ships, ships.
Hermione: THE INTERNET IS NOT FOR SHIPS!
Snape, Harry, Neville, Ron and Draco, singing: SHIPS, SHIP—
Hermione: HOLD ON A SECOND!
Snape, annoyed: What?
Hermione: Now I happen to know for a fact that you, Ron, check your portfolio and trade stocks online.
Ron, raising an eyebrow, trying to know what she's talking about: That's correct.
Hermione: And Neville, you buy things on Amazon.com
Neville, nervously: Sure...
Hermione: And Harry, you keep selling your possessions on Ebay.
Harry: Yes I do.
Hermione: And Draco, you sent me that sweet online birthday card.
Draco, smiling: True.
Snape, smirking like a sadistic motherferreter: Oh, but Miss Granger. What'd you think he'd do... after? Hmm?
Draco, embarrassed: Yeaaah...
Hermione, realizing Snape meant ships: EWWWWWWWW!!!
Snape, Harry, Neville, Ron and Draco, singing: The internet is for ships.
Hermione: Gross!
Snape, Harry, Neville, Ron and Draco, singing: The internet is for ships.
Hermione: I hate ships!
Snape, singing: Wands must flick and double click...
Snape, Harry, Neville, Ron and Draco, singing: For ships, ships, ships.
Hermione: I hate you idiots.
Snape, Harry, Neville, Ron and Draco, singing and harmonizing: Ships, ships, ships, ships...
Hermione: I hate the internet! Hmph...
Snape, singing: The internet is for...
Snape and some of them, singing: The internet is for...
Snape, Harry, Neville, Ron and Draco, singing: The internet is for ships!
Snape: YEAH!
(Hermione doesn't hate all ships, this is just part of the song lol)
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