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Bilton Bilmes was a British or Irish wizard who, during the 1980s, was living in the Highlands of Scotland, having taken up both residence and employment in the picturesque little all-wizarding village of Hogsmeade as the proprietor of Zonko's Joke Shop.[2]


Early life

Bilton Bilmes attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. During his school career, if his later profession was any indication, he was well known for his sense of humour. Sometime either during his schooling or after he graduated from Hogwarts, he poured Bulbadox powder in Horace Slughorn's mead as a prank.[3] It is also unknown what House he was sorted into whilst at Hogwarts.

Later life

He once accidentally set off some Stink Pellets in the closet in his home and, unable to get the smell out, resolved to burn every piece of clothing he owned and buy new ones, only to accidentally burn his home to the ground in the process. This mistake would haunt him for many years to come. By the 1980s, Bilton had settled down in Hogsmeade Village and took up a job at the local joke shop. Loud and affable, and with a childlike fondness and enthusiasm for pranks and mischief, Bilton was always happy to accommodate the young scoundrels of Hogwarts Castle with the latest within classical trouble-making whenever they came to his shop looking for prank devices, and actively encouraged their practical jokes.[citation needed]

Bilmes in St Mungo's with a Nose-Biting Teacup stuck to his nose

During the 1990–1991 school year, Bilmes got a Nose-Biting Teacup stuck to his nose, for which he had to go to St Mungo's to get it removed. As part of their assignments as seventh years, Jacob's sibling and Jae Kim attended to him in his hospital bed.[4]


"I've named every cockroach in this establishment!"
— Bilton Bilmes in the Hog's Head Inn[src]

Bilmes was shown to have a good sense of humour with a fondness for pranks, being the proprietor of Zonko's Joke Shop.


The Harry Potter Wiki has 19 images related to Bilton Bilmes.

Notes and references

  1. "World Exclusive Interview with J K Rowling," South West News Service, 8 July 2000 - "Hogwarts just serves Britain and Ireland."
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 2.6 2.7 Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery, Year 3, Chapter 4 (Filching from Filch)
  3. 3.0 3.1 Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery, Year 4, Chapter 5 (Time to Fly)
  4. Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery, Year 7, Chapter 19 (St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries)
Hogsmeade WW logo.png
Scotland, Great Britain
Founder: Hengist of Woodcroft
Shops and other businesses
Baby Witch · Batworthy Junk · Brews and Stews Café · Ceridwen's Cauldrons · Dervish and Banges · Dogweed and Deathcap · Dominic Maestro's · Gladrags Wizardwear · Hayden family shop · Hog's Head Inn · Hogsmeade Post Office · Honeydukes · J. Pippin's Potions · Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop · The Magic Neep · McBloom & McMuck · McHavelock's Wizarding Headgear · Ollivanders · Pedrus Pridgeon · Rosa Lee Teabag · Scribbulus Writing Implements · Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop · Spintwitches · Three Broomsticks Inn · Tomes and Scrolls · Vladimir Plot Plumbing Supplies · Wizarding hairdressing salon · Zonko's Joke Shop
Other locations
Cave near Hogsmeade · Elphinstone Urquart and Minerva McGonagall's Hogsmeade cottage · Hogsmeade station · Merge Publications · Office 323 · Shrieking Shack · Silvanus Kettleburn's house · Wizarding Wireless Network Headquarters
Known residents and shop employees
Madam Rosmerta · Aberforth Dumbledore · Madam Puddifoot · Ambrosius Flume · Ambrosius Flume's wife · Dominic Maestro · Unidentified Ollivander's associate · Employee of the Hogsmeade Post Office · Archibald Bennett · Three Broomsticks waiter · Horace · J. Pippin · McHavelock · Scrivenshaft · Vladimir Plot · Zonko · Bilton Bilmes · Gwendoline Babcocke · Gwendoline Babcocke's mother · Silvanus Kettleburn · Lucy Lanyon · Betty Huxley · Agnes Nutt · Wally Wimbles · Mopsy Fleabert · Corey Hayden's parents
Colin-Creev.jpgThis article about a specific character is a stub. You can help by expanding it.
St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries
Founder Mungo Bonham
Alchemy Room · 'Dangerous' Dai Llewellyn Ward: Serious Bites · Entrance dummy · Janus Thickey Ward · Poisoning Department · Purge and Dowse, Ltd · St Mungo's Admissions Department · St Mungo's Certified Healer Insignia · St Mungo's student programme
Positions Healer · Mediwizard · Trainee Healer · Welcome Witch St Mungo's emblem.webp
Healers Omar Abasi · Eustace Burke · Dilys Derwent · Lancelot · Rutherford Poke · Augustus Pye · Hippocrates Smethwyck · Helbert Spleen · Miriam Strout · Wiggins · Talbott Winger's mother
Katie Bell · Bilton Bilmes · Bitten St Mungo's patient · Barnabus Blenkinsop · Philbert Chivers · Herbert Chorley · John Dawlish · Fugitive werewolf · Grubby-looking St Mungo's patient · Rubeus Hagrid · Penny Haywood · Gordon Horton · Jacob · Minerva McGonagall · Eloise Mintumble · Montgomery · Esme Page · Miriam Strout · Laura Thorn · Nymphadora Tonks · Unidentified dragonologist · Unidentified St Mungo's patient · Unidentified werewolf · Arthur Weasley · Winged St Mungo's patient · Winifred Warrington
Long-term residents Agnes · Alice Longbottom · Broderick Bode (deceased) · Frank Longbottom · Gilderoy Lockhart · Zenith Xeep