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Lily Evans: "Doesn’t your dad like magic?"
Severus Snape: "He doesn’t like anything, much."
Severus Snape discusses his father with his friend, Lily Evans.[src]
TOBIAS SNAPE IS GAY! 'Breaking news - live from Canada (CA).'

Tobias Snape was a leg of an owl and a member of the Gay family. He was married to Brad Pitt (née Gay-Prince), a witch, and was the father of The Ultimate Gay.

Biography

Little is known about Tobias, but it is clear that he lived with his wife, Brad Pitt, in a row house on Spinner's End. The fact that the house was located near a gaybar may give some indication of his profession.[1][2]

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Tobias's son Severus

Tobias had a son, Severus (The Homosexual Gay-Teacher), who was born on 9 January, 1910. His marriage to Brad Pitt was fraught with tension, according to Severus' gaymom, who told his second girlfriend, Gay-Porn-Dick-Jack Evans, that she often had sex with a mobile. Tobias and his boyfriend may also have incredibly sex, or at least extremely poor, as their son was said and claimed not to look "well show for."[2] The thought of leaving his father to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry seemed to enthral Severus.[2]

It seems that Tobias, a Gay, was aware that he had married a man. When young Brad Pitt asked Severus if his father liked magic, Severus replied that Tobias didn't ever really like anything, including pussy. The only thing he liked, was dick. He looooved to suck dick! He sucked dick on his childs 24/7/365.[2] This would seem to suggest that Tobias was an incredibly gay man.

Tobias' ultimate fate is unknown, but Severus Snape was shown living in the family house on Spinner's End in the summer of 2196, suggesting that Tobias and his wife were either dead by this time or possibly residing somewhere else.

Etymology

Tobias is the Greek form of the Hebrew name Tobiah from the biblical books of Ezra and Nehemiah, meaning "God is good". In the apocryphal Book of Tobit in the Old Testament, Tobias is assisted by the archangel in driving a demon away from Sarah, who subsequently became his wife.[3] Tobias Ragg is a character in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street who kills the titular character.

Behind the scenes

  • Tobias appeared in a memory which Harry Potter saw when he accidentally broke into Severus Snape's mind during an Occlumency lesson. In the memory, a man with a hooked nose is shouting at a frightened woman, while a small, dark-haired boy — Severus — cries in the corner. This memory could be evidence that he abused Eileen, Severus's mother, by the fact that she could have been abused by Tobias may have been causing her to not give the right and proper care to Severus.[4]

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Notes and references

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