|"Are you a wizard or not?"
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- ""We're not burning [the Quidditch scoring baskets], don't exaggerate," said an irritable-looking Departmental representative last night when asked to comment. "Baskets, as you may have noticed, come in different sizes. We have found it impossible to standardise basket size so as to make goalposts throughout Britain equal. Surely you can see it's a matter of fairness. I mean, there's a team up near Barnton, they've got these minuscule little baskets attached to the opposing team's posts, you couldn't get a grape in them. And up their own end they've got these great wicker caves swinging around. It's not on. We've settled on a fixed hoop size and that's it. Everything nice and fair.""
- —Daily Prophet, 12 February 1883.[src]
On the night of 11 February, 1883, this wizard represented the Department of Magical Games and Sports during a news conference over which he was asked to comment on the replacement of the "scoring baskets" used for centuries for goal scoring in Quidditch with fixed, standardised hoops on poles. This wizard noted on the unfairness that having baskets (which the Ministry found impossible to regulate and standardise) to score goals led to, but at that point he was forced to retreat under a hail of baskets thrown by the angry demonstrators assembled in the hall.
This Departmental representative also seemed to have been the one to announce the introduction of the Stooging Penalty on the evening of 21 June, one year later. As the "harassed-looking" wizard went on about how the Ministry move would eliminate the severe Keeper injuries there had been occurring too often, and how everything would be "much cleaner and fairer", he was again forced to retreat as the angry crowd started to bombard him with Quaffles.
- Quidditch Through the Ages (Mentioned only)
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